How to deal with difficult people
We all have a few people in our lives who just push our buttons, don’t we? Maybe it’s that annoying coworker you try to avoid every day in the break room, your pushy mother-in-law who has a gift for saying exactly the wrong thing, or just some random jerk in the gas station parking lot who decided to make you their new enemy today.
You will never be able to completely avoid coming in contact with people you find offensive, annoying, or downright loathsome. And when you do, there’s almost no chance you’ll be able to win any arguments or make them be more tolerable. What you can do, however, is get really good at handling negative interactions in the most effective way.
Your first priority should be protecting your safety and your energy.
You know logically that there’s absolutely no point in engaging with the wide variety of nitwits you encounter on any given day, but sometimes it’s super hard to resist the temptation. Learning how to reject the gifts of anger and annoyance that are repeatedly offered to you throughout the day will be one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself.
You can simply respond politely to any comment without needing to react.
You can have a canned response like “Thanks for sharing your thoughts” which lets you stay disengaged. Or, you can throw the ball back in their court with something like “Sorry you’re so upset” or “I sure hope your day gets better.” Peace and calm can be very disarming to someone having big emotions. Ignoring it is also powerful – sparks of anger cool quickly when there’s no one to fan the flames.
It may feel like a personal attack, but it’s absolutely not.
They’re taking their emotions out on you, but that doesn’t make it about you. Instead of picking it up and making it your own, remind yourself that their anger, aggression, or annoyance is coming from inside of them, and let them keep it for themselves.
If you engage with hostility and create a lot of energy around it, you will get more of it.
Whatever you think about, speak about, and feel strongly about gets amplified in your life. If you focus on conflict and tell everyone about every perceived slight, you will stay mired in those kinds of experiences. Set an intention every day to protect your energy and focus your attention on what you love and want more of, and watch how quickly the knuckleheads disappear.
Remember, no one can make you feel any particular way unless you allow it. If you’re experiencing a lot of negativity in your life, notice what you’re paying attention to and how you’re engaging with others. You can change the way you think, speak, and behave at any time and have a whole different experience in the world.
Love, Teddey
